The Art of Building Confidence
It is no secret that confidence plays a tremendous role in our everyday lives. Whether you are an athlete, business professional, husband, mother, or student, your level of success will be directly correlated to the level of confidence you possess.
As a mental performance coach, confidence is the most popular topic of conversation when it comes to mental skills. Individuals know for them to achieve massive levels of success, they must be confident.
But knowing that confidence is important to have is not enough to be successful. We must actually BE confident. So how do we arrive at this confident state of being?
Confidence - The Double Edged Sword
Confidence is often viewed as a double edged sword. In order to be successful, you must be confident, but in order to be confident, you must be successful. While it is true that confidence breeds success, success is not the only way to build confidence.
With the help of different training tools, it is possible to build confidence over a period of time. Let me reiterate that, A PERIOD OF TIME. This is not a “get rich quick” scheme for building confidence. Building confidence is not easy, but it is worth it.
When it comes to building confidence, there are two categories of training that must be executed: Physical and mental. Physical training refers to the actual practice of whatever it is you are trying to get better at. Building confidence with mental training on the other hand refers to the different tactics and tools you can utilize to improve confidence without the need for any actual “reps.”
Both aspects of training are extremely important, but achieving a true state of confidence is only possible when both training categories are executed simultaneously. The remainder of this article will be dedicated to breaking down both physical and mental training, and will include tools you can utilize for both categories.
Physical Training - Building Confidence
The physical training aspect of confidence is relatively self-explanatory. In order to become more confident in something, we must actually practice it. The journey of becoming more confident consists of convincing our brain that it is “like us” to do something.
As a result, if we never practice, our brain will not believe it is “like us” to do it. Thus, making it hard to develop confidence in that specific area.
For example, let’s look at a basketball player named Steve. If Steve never practices shooting from the 3-point line, his brain will not believe that it is like him to shoot 3-pointers. This will lead to Steve having little confidence when shooting from behind the arc. So, if Steve wants to become more confident in his 3-point shooting, Steve must actually practice shooting three pointers.
Practice, Practice, Practice
We must make sure we are actually practicing whatever it is we are not good at. While it is frustrating at first, it is essential. So, if you’re a golfer who lacks confidence in your short game, practice your short game. If you’re a baseball player who lacks confidence when hitting against left-handed pitchers, practice hitting against left-handed pitchers. This physical training will help convince your brain that it is “like you” to do this and ultimately, build confidence.
Research Proven Techniques and Strategies
In addition, there are different types of physical training you can implement that have been proven through research to improve the effectiveness of your training. The most common type of physical training is block practice. Block practice consists of executing the same thing repeatedly, such as shooting 5 soccer balls from the same spot or making 10 putts from the same spot. However, research has shown that block practice does not yield the best results when transitioning into actual competition.
Instead of training through block practice, random practice training has been shown to have better results when transitioning into competition. Random practice consists of executing shots randomly, such as rolling a bowling ball over a different arrow each shot, or picking a different part of the strike zone with a different pitch each pitch. Not only does this style of training prove to be more effective, but it also makes practices less mundane and more enjoyable. Check out this video below on Block Practice v. Random Practice.
IMPORTANT NOTE ON BUILDING CONFIDENCE WITH PHYSICAL TRAINING
Never stop practicing the things you are great at. Athletes often neglect their strengths when they find something new to improve. If neglected, this area of strength will become an area of weakness over time. Find what you are not good at, and improve it while you maintain what you are great at.
Mental Training
While the importance of mental training is widely understood, relatively no one executes it. Why this is the case, I don’t know. Most athletes would say that their sport is over 90% mental, especially at the elite level, yet most athletes don’t spend 90% of their time on the mental side of the game.
What I do know is that mental training is necessary to become elite in any field, and thanks to different tools and techniques, you can utilize mental training to grow your level of confidence in any area. If you are diligent, patient, and consistent, you can build confidence. Here are a few mental training tools and techniques you can implement to boost your confidence.
Performance Analysis Journal
A performance journal is not only a great way to bring structure to your training, but also build confidence. A performance journal is a necessity for any individual looking to become elite in any field.
Performance journals keep track of your training: What is working, what you’re doing well, and what your goal is.
By only recording the positives from your training and competitions, Performance Analysis Journals allow you to build confidence by reminding yourself of your successes. Olympic Gold Medalist and author, Lanny Bassham, has created a structured performance journal that is fantastic. I highly recommend purchasing this performance journal from his website by clicking here.
HOW-TO: PERFORMANCE ANALYSIS JOURNAL
Here are four steps I have found to be most important when journaling:
Record your journal entry as close to the finish of your practice or competition as possible: Doing so will allow you to remember your training or competition better. Thus, allowing you to be more detailed.
The more detailed the better: Being more detailed with your journaling will make a stronger imprint on your brain and provide you with a better reference in the future, should you be in a similar position.
Get it done: The most important part about journaling is actually doing it. While you will not be maximizing the positive effects of journaling, journaling long after your practice or competition is over is better than not journaling at all.
Positive records only: This tool is to help you build confidence. As a result, you only want to focus on the positives of your training or competition. Some days will be better than others. There are always positives, so make sure you record them.
Visualization
A very interesting thing about the brain is it will believe whatever you tell it. If you tell it to visualize failure, your brain will believe it is “like you” to fail. If you tell your brain to visualize success, you will believe that it is “like you” to have success. Visualizing future success as if it has already happened is a great way to trick your brain and build confidence.
Your body does not know the difference between what you vividly imagine and what it physically experiences. They’re processed along the same psychoneuromuscular pathways. So, when you visualize success in a future event, your brain believes it to be real. Thus, building confidence that it is “like you” to have success.
Always visualize success, and you will be successful. Start small - set your clock on your watch and imagine yourself having success for just 1 minute. Each week, add a minute. Just 10 minutes of visualization per day over an extended period of time will help raise your level of confidence.
Pre-Competition at 2018 PABCON CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS event in Rio De Janeiro, BRAZIL
HOW-TO: VISUALIZATION
Find a quiet place where you will not be interrupted: visualization is a time for you to get into a deep, peaceful, positive state. The last thing you want is to interrupt that.
Play soothing music: Some people are more comfortable with background noise such as nature sounds or calm instrumentals. If this is you, feel free to turn on some music to facilitate your relaxation.
Breathe right: Breathe in through your nose, deep into your belly and expanding your chest. Breathing in through your nose humidifies and filters the air as it enters your body. Breathing into your belly and expanding your chest allows the oxygen to enter the deeper portions of your lungs, maximizing oxygenation. Check out this article on ideal breathing for performance health and well being.
Positive thoughts: Our life is what we envision it to be. Only visualize what you would like to see happen in your life.
Be gentle: Sometimes during visualization, our mind begins to wander. If this occurs, it’s okay. Acknowledge that your mind has wandered, and gently shift it back to what you would like to visualize.
Celebrate The Smallest of Victories
It is easy to be our harshest critic. When we do things correctly, we don’t think twice about it. We expect ourselves to do things correctly. When we do something incorrectly, we scold ourselves, use negative self-talk, and put ourselves down.
Can you see what is wrong with this picture? We spend all of our time thinking about the bad, and virtually no time thinking about the good. Praising ourselves raises confidence, while putting ourselves down diminishes it.
We need to celebrate all of our victories, no matter how small. I am not talking about going out and partying to celebrate. I am talking about recognizing our moments of success and praising ourselves for it. When you make a tough shot, tell yourself “nice shot!” When you make a mistake, pay it no mind and move on. Spending more time focusing on the positives rather than the negatives will help move you into a more confident state.
Mirror Madness - How I Won The 2018 National Championship
This last technique is something I created about one year ago. The story of how I came up with it is strange, yet entertaining. So, here it is. Surprisingly (or not, I’m not really sure), I created this technique when I was drunk at a Christmas party one week before Team USA Trials in 2018. In the middle of a night full of family fun and drinking, I went to the bathroom. While washing my hands, I looked myself in the mirror and said to myself “I can’t wait to make Team USA 2018.” And, before I knew it, I was screaming positive affirmations at myself in the mirror for two minutes. And when I say screaming, I mean screaming. Thankfully, I was downstairs so no one heard me over the noise of the party.
I was telling myself things like “No one can stop me,” “I’m unstoppable,” “I’m the greatest,” and “I’m an olympic level player” (plus quite a few curse words in each statement). Looking back, it was strange, but I felt incredibly confident after walking out of that bathroom. I did this a few more times before Team USA Trials in 2018 (all not drunk), and felt the same incredible feeling. There was something about looking at myself while saying these things that helped me identify with what I was saying. It made me feel confident, like I had already accomplished my dream of making Team USA.
Sure enough, I made Team USA 2018. I used this technique before the Long Island Masters two weeks later, the 2018 National Championship, and when competing for Team USA in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil.
I won the Long Island Masters,
I won the 2018 National Championships, and
I brought home One Gold, Silver and Bronze Medal for my country.
Safe to say I’ll continue to utilize my Mirror Madness.
HOW-TO: MIRROR MADNESS
Use your time washing your hands or getting ready to your advantage. Every time you look in the mirror, state 5 positive affirmations. You will do this anywhere between 5-10 times per day. It’s a small gesture that doesn’t take much time. Small actions + time = massive results. Be consistent, and you will see a change in your confidence.
Summary
There are more mental training techniques out there you can implement to help build confidence. I encourage you to seek out different techniques from experienced professionals, and pick the brains of those who have been successful. Implement both physical and mental training, be patient, and you will be sure to see your confidence level rise.
What’s your favorite mental or physical training technique? Please leave a comment below.
In the meantime, should you have any questions, comments, or would just like to say hello, feel free to reach out to me at mfarberconsulting@gmail.com. Best of luck to you!
